Friday, May 7, 2010

What I've learned since my 1st Mother's Day

When I think back to the day I found out I was carrying this beautiful miracle, it feels like something that happened only 5 minutes ago. I even remember the skirt I was wearing and how different my whole body felt after seeing those pink lines (yes, the plural of line because I had to take 3 tests to be sure they were right!). When I told Mr. Nest over dinner at our favorite bar (the first time I'd been there and NOT had a drink), I remember saying to him, "Our lives will never be the same."

And they haven't.

Our lives have been forever changed in the most fantastic, amazing, challenging, irreplaceable, magical way I could never imagine existing before now. I've grown in ways I was not prepared for- and still am surprised by! And that includes my waist line. :) In many ways I've become more confident- having my daughter gives me license to put my foot down more, to give the answer I want to give instead of the answer I think someone else wants to hear, to dream bigger than I ever have before, to take risks but think harder about them, to love without restriction.... there's simply too much to write here.

I am so proud of the family I have helped to create. It certainly hasn't been easy, and lord knows I've doubted myself (and will continue to) along the way. After all, there's no handbook for this. There's definitely no model by which I can go by: I didn't have a typical childhood. Or adolescence. Even adulthood (so far) has been a little out-of-the-box. But having my daughter has been like having a chance to do it over again- the "right way." I have more fun with her than I've ever had in my life. I see the world for what I can make it, not what it owes me. And while other mothers may worry and meltdown when their children get messy (ahem, Kate Gosselin), I welcome it because it usually means she'll need a bath and baths are so much fun, too! My home is filled with laughter and music and silliness, and I couldn't ask for more.

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms and soon-to-be-moms! May it be filled with the fun, laughter, and love I know mine will be.

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